it could be worse

The weather is getting hotter. Heat means sweating and trying not to be outdoors too long. It means avoiding the heat of a blowdryer and letting my hair airdry and get frizzy. It means ducking in and out of airconditioned buildings and paying more to be in my own apartment. It means trying not to sit back on the bus so my shirt wont be wet in the back. It means using more deoderant and wishing other people would use any at all. It means I have less motivation to stand in a hot kitchen and cook for people. It means walking around with a sunbrella so I don't get sunbured on the way to the bus stop. It means drinking less tea and coffee... which might be good for me.

But, hopefully it also means: cookouts, enjoying cold drinks again, sunglasses, night activities, friends coming for summer vacation, a burntan, fewer people staring at me because I'm under my sunbrella, sandals, and a shared miserableness by other sweaty people. It brings people together.

I will try, however, to complain less. It's so easy to complain when all you can feel is sweat and heat. After studying a bit of sensory integration for work, I think I'm hypersensative. Tags, loose hairs, scruntchy clothes and sweat bother me more than I think they should. It's easy to focus on them and get upset when I can't control the environment.

Today, right after fellowship, we went to lunch. That required walking to the bus stop, getting off, walking to my favorite restuarant, eating, and walking back to the bus stop and home. By the time I got home, I was in a desperate scramble for control. I don't want to turn on the AC yet cause that costs money and I'll wait until the heat really comes in June and July, but it was enough for me to close all the windows and sit with shorts and a tanktop and the fan on. IT'S NOT EVEN THAT HOT YET. I'm flipping out about a little weather change and it's not even up to an Arkansas mid-spring. We have just enjoyed such nice temped weather for so long...I hate to see it go.

So, mom, if you have just read this, I know it might throw you into the same panic. But fear not, May isn't that bad and I will use all the AC and ice tea and taxis and fans at my disposal to keep you cool. That's how much I love you.

Maybe I should install an AC in the kitchen so I can keep cooking. It's just become so important to me. Maybe my passion for cooking will win over the sweating and suffocating heat.